SHAMBLES MANOR



MEH... MEEH.... MEEEEHH...
THE SPRING HAS SPRUNG THE GRASS IS RIZ, I WONDER WHERE THE BIRDIES IZ ?
THE BIRDIES THEY IZ ON THE WING - HOW ABSURD, THE WING IS ON THE BIRD ...

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Fun and Facts...

Hi There,

A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George.  Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room..  But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.  When they checked out four hours later the desk clerk handed them a bill for $300.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.  He told the clerk that although it was a nice hotel, the rooms certainly weren't worth that amount of money for four hours. The clerk told him that this amount was the standard rate.  The man insisted on speaking to the manager,  the Manager appeared and listened to him, he explained that the hotel had an Olympic size pool and a huge Conference Centre that were available to him to use.

But we didn't use them the husband said.  Well, they were here and you could have used them - said the Manager.  He went on to explain that the couple also could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel famous.  We have the best entertainment from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas they all perform here.  The man said we didn't go to any of these shows...  The manager said , but you could have...  No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned the husband replied - but we didn't use it!!!

The Manager was unmoved, so eventually the husband gave in and agreed to pay.  As he didn't have the cheque book he asked his wife to write the cheque.  She did so and handed it to the Manager.  The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque...  But Madam you filled it out for only $50.00 ...  That's correct she said,  I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me ...  But I didn't, said the Manager, she said Oh well, too bad, I was here and you could have...

The lesson ... Don't mess with senior citizens - There didn't get there by being stupid !


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Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women’s clothes have buttons on the left?
A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.
Q: Why do ships and aircraft use ‘mayday’ as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word m'aidez-meaning 'help me' -- and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.'
Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?
A: In France, where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.'
Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.
Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.
Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.
Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud if someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.
Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?
A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.
Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense orange clay called 'pygg.' When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

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Let's finish off today's blog with a few Irishisms ...

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

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Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"

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Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road.
Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
Cop says "For gods sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!"



Cheers, Kate xxx.

2 comments:

giveitanothergo said...

I always wondered why we put pennies in a piggy

Arti said...

wow Kate that was a lot of nice information :)thanks for sharing!