Hi There,
Wee Billy from Glesga tried his utmost to look 'cool '.
His friend told him that he needed a pair of good designer trainers to go with his shell suit.
Billy saved up all his Giros and all the money he got back from returning his empty Ginger bottles and finally managed to get himself a pair of brilliant white trainers to go with his shell suit.
Strutting down the street, Billy called out to all the passers by "Check oot ma new trainers pal? Stonkin, eh?"
One fine upstanding gentleman pointed out that while they were indeed a fine pair of trainers, was young Billy aware that, "Ye've no' done up the laces on wan o' them, ya daft bastirt!"
His friend told him that he needed a pair of good designer trainers to go with his shell suit.
Billy saved up all his Giros and all the money he got back from returning his empty Ginger bottles and finally managed to get himself a pair of brilliant white trainers to go with his shell suit.
Strutting down the street, Billy called out to all the passers by "Check oot ma new trainers pal? Stonkin, eh?"
One fine upstanding gentleman pointed out that while they were indeed a fine pair of trainers, was young Billy aware that, "Ye've no' done up the laces on wan o' them, ya daft bastirt!"
Billy scornfully retorted that it was part of being cool to have a trailing lace on one trainer, and that on the sole of the trainer there were instructions for the wearer to do so.
When asked for proof of this instruction, Billy took off his trainer and held it upside down for the disbeliever to read.
"There y'are! Clear as day it says...... Taiwan !"
The translation being 'Tie one' ! hehehe...
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"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS.
I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me.
In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if
she had a weapon in her possession at this time.
She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box.
Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having
a 9mm Glock in her center console.
Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what
was she so afraid of.
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a flipping thing!"
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
An Action Packed Video ....................
Click in the letters to open video
Cheers for now, Kate xxx.
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