SHAMBLES MANOR


THE SPRING HAS SPRUNG THE GRASS IS RIZ, I WONDER WHERE THE BIRDIES IZ ?
THE BIRDIES THEY IZ ON THE WING - HOW ABSURD, THE WING IS ON THE BIRD ...

Friday, 11 April 2014

A Moan, a happy wee chap and unusual partners ...



Hi There,


A moment of ancient mind rolling ...

France, Uruguay, Malaysia, Costa Rica and Mexico.

While checking around the net I came across an article about the healthiest countries in the world as shown above and while checking them out I realised one salient fact  that they hadn't cottoned on to...  All of them are filled with sunshine a lot of the year...  These lucky inhabitants see that yellow ball in their skies regularly whereas we  live in a country called Scotland where you see very little of that yellow ball ... (called 'THE SUN' )   In my humble opinion this fact has a great bearing on health !!!

Let me congratulate the citizens of the world who regularly see this wonderful addition to their lives...   We in Scotland rarely see the sun but sometimes we do see an awful lot of RAIN, WIND, HAIL and SNOW ... (sometimes even in the one day). This of course means that there are a lot of folk who are lucky enough to have skins which are pale, perfect. and interesting.  So .....  I'm not going to complain too loud - you can't have everything,

OK enough of the moaning ! Except for the next wee video which shows an adorable wee boy - take a look it will brighten your day ......




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Now for another type of bird ... this wee film is for advertising ' Freeview on TV ' ....... ENJOY !





Cheers, Kate xxx.



Thursday, 3 April 2014

Riley and some some funny church bulletins...



Hi There,

This wee man is the latest member of our family, my grandaughter's baby ' Riley ' ... (and therefore my Great Grandson)  arrrghh ... 

He's a wee cutie isn't he !



































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Church ladies with typewriters...

They're Back! Those really funny Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences below actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

The Fasting Prayer Conference includes meals. 

--------------------------

Scouts  are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight:‘Searching for Jesus.' 
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. 
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. 
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. 
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
-----------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
          ------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..---------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. 
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.-------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 
--------------------------

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. 
--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. 
--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.------


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 
--------------------------

This last one just about sums them all up!

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's  new campaign slogan last Sunday .

'I UPPED MY PLEDGE - UP YOURS!'

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Confusion ...



Love and stuff, Kate xxx.



Thursday, 20 March 2014

Roll on Independence followed by a hilarious video.



Hi There,






Warning :: Lecture ahead, well, strictly speaking not really a lecture more something that has been birling  about in my head.  It is something that I feel bound to put out into the ether. So here goes !

I won't vote YES this year for Independance because of what we or others will get - I will vote YES because my country, as part of the UK is and has been for a long time seen as one of the many 'regions of the United Kingdom.

Whether or not we will be better off than we are now has NO BEARING WHATEVER on my wish that Scotland becomes Independent and I have no doubt that mistakes will probably be made as indeed they are in England (where they have had hundreds of years trying to get it right )  but we will learn !

Better that than continue to allow others to organize us and run our country that is, apart from the simpler things that have already been agreed can be dealt with in Edinburgh'  by those in London..  It's now way past the time when we should have had the independence to run our own affairs.   Scotland was and is a 'country' not a 'region' and I pray it will soon be again!

I will also vote YES because my ' heart tells me it's right ' .  

Oh and while I'm mouthing off - if by any chance Independence is not the result this year then it is bound to come up again and again until we succeed in gaining Independence, we will never again give in or indeed give up !  This may sound as though I'm anti-English, I'm not, but it's a wonder I'm not.

You just have to look at how the political system is set up...   It wouldn't matter a toss if all the folk in Scotland were to vote Labour Tory or Liberal - The parliament would always be run to suit the much larger number of people who vote which means an English parliament. The Scottish parliament has certainly helped but with very limited powers there's not a lot it can do.

Going back in my childhood when I got history at school very little was taught about Scottish history ... It was English history which was relayed to us...  This had the result of making us children think that Scotland had nothing to offer in history...  It was only when I really became interested in History as a subject that I read more about the joining of the two countries and crowns.  I then realized that Scotland and England were in fact two equal partners in the United Kingdom.

Mind you, you wouldn't think so if you understood how many of the joint companies, banks and businesses had been transferred to England.  Most government business has to be done by computer, now .......  I wonder how much of a percentage of people over the age of 55 say, have usage of and knowledge of computers ?  If you don't have a computer you can always try to get to a library to ask for help from one of the library assistants - that's if you can find a library within relatively easy distance of your home ...... Do you understand now why we Scots seem to be always running at the (as we say) coo's tail and never seeming to be catching up ??

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ 


Right then,  now enough of my diatribe !!!

Now to give you a laugh - have a decco at this wee video which shows a small dog doing his exercises along with his master ...



Cheers, Kate xxx.




Monday, 17 February 2014

Memories of long tailed creatures......



Hi There,





"One Two three a leerie ".

On Shambles Manor I have a wee "thingy" on the right hand side of my blog which allows folks to be transported to a past blog item ... sometimes travelling back a number of years ......  I have been known to click it myself and ending up laughing out loud while reading, remembering and reliving some memories of my childhood ... I must really be getting old,   mind you I suppose the big problem will come when I'm reading about happenings in my life and I don't remember them  AAAARRGHH !

This story relates to something which happened many years ago and which I set on this blog in January 2008 . 

"Childhood Memories of long tailed creatures "...  ENJOY !


Why is is that sometimes when I settle down to type an item for this blog my mind hits a brick wall and I cannot think what to type.... Does that happen to you at all ?  Ohhhh I know what I'll tell you about ... talk about the past coming up to haunt you - someone was telling me recently about having a problem with mice in their house and it rung bells with me - I know - really must see about my Tinnitus....

This is something which will probably 'convince'  you that I really am round the twist but here goes... 


A long time ago when I was about ten years old and the world was in black and white my family moved from a flat in the town to stay in a house where the back garden and Drying Green backed on to a large field,  I was the eldest of five children and to live near such a large open space was a great experience for us and we all have memories of great times playing there, when the grass was long we were hunters running through jungles ,  after the grass had been cut we would try to build huts and we would hide using the long grass and branches, it was an idyllic play area for youngsters.

The only problem we had during the first 5 years after we moved there was that when Winter was drawing in our lives were tormented by little field mice and no matter how my Dad sealed up holes, laid traps etc and did everything he could to stop them getting into our house he never succeeded in stopping these little rascals. 


We would all be sitting round the TV on a winters night and we would hear a scuffle coming from somewhere and a little animal would shoot from the Kitchen across the floor of the Living Room to goodness knows where...  this happening would be more than a little disconcerting for us kids especially those who were in the unfortunate position of being on the floor - rather than on one of the "chairs" belonging to "The Suite" - if you had not quickly bagged a seat then you would have to lie floorwards. (whilst keeping an eye open for little beasties with long tails).

As I said, my parents were driven demented by them for five years.  One afternoon while we were all at school Mum was sitting at her sewing machine - going good style, ( she was probably making another matching outfit for us kids,  from we were toddlers till we were too old for them, we each had a matching gingham set - girls skirts - boys shirts girls white tops, kind of like like the kids from the Sound of Music). 
You think I'm kidding ??

The TV was on while she sewed and something she heard made her stop and take notice.   Someone was being interviewed and was talking about how to get rid of mice and beasties from your house. The lady who was being interviewed said that all that was required would be to go into every room and walk-in cupboard in your house and just explain to the mice or whatever, that you were afraid of them and that they would be better off going to ........ and that "they" would like them to stay "there".  The point of the missing words is to let you know that you had to tell the mice where to go, but you must not tell anyone else. This suggestion to Mum was helpful as at the time we had a little problem with a neighbour of ours. So this then was an electric light moment for Mum. 


She thought about it for a couple of days, but said nothing to any of us and later in the week she tried it out.  It was only afterwards that she owned up to what she had done.   While she was doing it she said she felt thoroughly embarrassed and a right TWIT - but as she had come to the end of her tether she had to at least try it as she was dreading another winter with our little friends.

I swear that from that day on none of us ever saw any sign of any little wild creature in the house . My Mum lived another thirty years and died in that house which was still mice-less. All of our family can attest to this and all of us remember the fright you got each time one of the little tykes made an appearance.

I'll tell you something else too, none of us have ever had any problems with vermin of any kind in any of our houses and a few of us have lived in or near the countryside. I can't speak for the rest, but wherever I have lived I always have a little walkaround and had a word on the quiet with any tiny creatures that might be listening.

Many years later there was an article in the newspaper stating that "Buck House"  (Buckingham Palace in London) was being inundated with mice and rats - Blimey ! who'd have thunk it Huh?

You know what's coming don't you? me being helpful, had to write and tell them what my Mum had done years ago to rid us of the little vagabonds and ask " them " (the power behind the throne - ie servants wot clean Her Majesties rooms ) to have a word on the QT with the little beggars and tell them - in no uncertain terms to go to ??? now there's a thing, where do they tell them to go ?  Anyway, I reasoned that if it worked in our humble abode then there was no reason why it could not work there...

I thought - well, if nothing else ' they ' (whoever opened the envelope) would get a laugh. Blow me, if I didn't get a reply with the crest on the paperwork and everything from one of her Maj's ladeez or one of her many Secretaries who thanked me for my information and told me that "reports of the infestation had been exaggerated " yeah, right ! I'm damned sure there must be millions running about the House there. Her Maj probably never even heard a scoobie about getting rid of the long tailed pests - or about some "nutter" writing to her.

Just thinking about it though, can you imagine how long it would take to go round all the rooms and walk-in cupboards in the Palace ?  Probably too much to expect some folk to do that job. Just you remember though the next time you read in the papers that the Palace is coping with an infestation of wee long tailed animals......

Hope todays little episode gave you a laugh - it quite cheered me up too..
Cheers to All from Scotland, where the midges rule and ' the Haggi roam the streets '.....


Lots of Love, Kate xxx.

** WARNING ** The reading of this article can Seriously Damage your Mental Health!


Although this sounds unbelieveable it is all completely true... Honest Injun !! (well - that is apart from the bit at the end about the Haggi roaming the streets ).



Friday, 7 February 2014

A smart cookie .... and a number of funnies.



Hi There,

I couldn't resist posting the funnies below and hope that they will brighten your day the same way they brightened mine ...



~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me!
I want people to know whyI look at it this way.I've travelled 
a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to 
youth,  just think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either... 
dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
 First you forget names,then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper....
it's worse when you forget... to pull it down.

````````````````
Two guys, one old, one young,are pushing their carts around ASDA when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?" The young guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra, long legs,and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
*********************
And to finish off these tidbits of wisdom a plea to on high ...
"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder
and Your hand over my mouth!"


Cheers,  Kate xxx.


Tuesday, 28 January 2014

An Amazing video. and a tearjerker of a story...



Hi There,


Amazing thought provoking video and after you have watched the start of it you will be hooked!




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An Unforgettable Breakfast at McDonalds This was a story which is purported to be true... I wanted to share it with you,  it came from a woman who helps the homeless.


I am a mother of three and have recently completed my college degree.  The last class I had to take was Sociology.  The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.  Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'  The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.  I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.  It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.  We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away including my husband.  I did not move an inch, while an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible body odour and saw two poor homeless men standing behind me.  As I looked at the short gentleman closest to me, he was 'smiling'.  His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of hope as he searched for acceptance.  He said, "Good day," as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.  The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.  The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.  He said, "Coffee is all Miss," because that was all they could afford. After all, if  they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something and they just wanted to be warm.

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.  That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.  I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.  I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.  He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you."  I leaned over and patted his hand.  I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat
down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why you are part of my life honey, to give me hope."  We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that because of the good fortune that we had been given were we able to give.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class with this story in hand.  I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.  Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?"  I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.  She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor and every soul that heard the story in the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.  But, I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn.



Cheers, Kate xxx.


Friday, 24 January 2014

Horror video and WD40 uses.


Hi There,



I found this horror video on You Tube this morning and couldn't resist posting it here ...   ARRGGGG!  have a decco but don't watch too closely hehehehehe.....   Sometimes folk have experienced difficulties getting this video to play when using the embed code!  However,  if you type You Tube Video - then type  ' DEVIL BABY ATTACK '   the video will play without problems ...

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Now to bring you back to Earth and relax you,  check this out...  I am reliably informed that this information is correct though to be honest I've only tried a couple of the hints...

Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you...' IT IS MADE FROM FISH OIL' . When you read the 'shower door' part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It is a miracle! Then try it on your stove top... It is now shinier than it has ever been before. Wowee ! ahem...

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that `just-waxed` sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewellery chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terracotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car. Removed quickly, with WD-40!
20) Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21) Lubricates gear shift on lawn mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons,and bicycles for easy handling.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35) Removes all traces of duck tape.
36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain
37) Florida 's favourite use 'Cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38) Protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time.
40) Ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42) If you've washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and Presto! Lipstick is gone!
43) If you spray WD-40 on the distributor cap, it will displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
44) You can even clean stains on carpets
I keep a can of WD-40 in my kitchen cabinet over the stove. It is good for oven burns or any other type of burn. It takes the burned feeling away and heals with NO scarring.

Remember, the basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

This is a first for me to give out household uses for a product - but I am assured that it works - so who am I to argue with all of the above Huh ??



Cheers, Kate xxx.